You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
