It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
