we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
