i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
