im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
