I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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