When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
