Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
did you just send me my own nude
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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