Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
