You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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