Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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