Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
