google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
