Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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