I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize