She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
