i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
