i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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