In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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