i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
