He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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