He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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