Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
