five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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