When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize