i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
