I love black thongs
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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