How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
