I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
