i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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