I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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