no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
