Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I heard we made out
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
