You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i out mim tonsoeep
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