they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
