the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
