Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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