I want to walk on stilts...naked
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize