So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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