i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
