I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
