I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this will be a night to untag.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
