This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
