Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
