I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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