I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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