Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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