Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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