My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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