So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
