Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize