i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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