bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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