It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
