my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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