Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
