Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
