At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
