i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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