i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
