Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Pooping to opera.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
