yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
