Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
